


Subterfuge

by MaskofCognito, Tipsy_Kitty



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Amortentia, Anal Sex, Audio Format: M4B, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Cover Art, Depression, Embarrassed Peter, Friends With Benefits, Good Peter Pettigrew, Humor, James and Peter Scheme, Jealousy, M/M, Makeup Sex, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Podfic, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours, Rough Sex, Sirius is a Concerned Mother Hen™, Switching, emotional tension, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:20:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25549612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaskofCognito/pseuds/MaskofCognito, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tipsy_Kitty/pseuds/Tipsy_Kitty
Summary: They aren't sure when it started. Remus and Sirius have been friends with benefits for a while now, and it's been so fucking great. Except when it's not. After jealousy hits Remus and depression sets in, creating a rift between him and Sirius, can James and Peter help save the day?
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 124
Collections: Pod_Together 2020





	1. Sirius - Intoxication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you [icarusinflight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icarusinflight/pseuds/icarusinflight) for being the most lovely person in this world! You helped me trash the unnecessary words and brighten up the existing ones. Without you, this fic wouldn't be half as good as it turned out. Thank you.

[](https://maskofcognito.tumblr.com/post/627970016526090240/subterfuge-explicit-written-by-maskofcognito)

Art by maskofcognito  


| 

### Download

  


  * **Mediafire:**[mp3](http://www.mediafire.com/file/qe4fqmbah45lrh3/Subterfuge.mp3/file) | [ m4b](http://www.mediafire.com/file/5bgzjot3vo4sri7/Subterfuge.m4b/file)
  * **Size:** 51MB | 55MB 
  * **Duration:** 01:17:56 

  


### Stream

  
  
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> **Intoxication** (in-tok-si- **key** -sh _ u _ h n)  _ noun _
> 
> inebriation, overpowering exhilaration or excitement of the mind or emotions, poisoning.
> 
> [ dictionary.com ](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/intoxication)

* * *

“Beat that, I dare you.” Sirius waggles his eyebrows after the chocolate frog’s newest transformation settles into a bottle of lube. A smile creeps onto Remus’ face.

Sirius and Remus are first to finish their assignment in double Advanced Transfiguration. They decide to just fuck around while Professor McGonagall makes her way through the classroom helping students who are struggling or have questions. What used to be one of Sirius’ quills sits on the desk between them and they take to transfiguring it, ignoring the rest of the class. The latest transformation rests before them, the gauntlet thrown down.

Remus ends up turning it into something phallic looking which sparks the devious feeling inside Sirius, never far beneath the surface. He morphs it into a muggle porn mag he’d seen on one of his and James’ excursions in the muggle world and sends a challenging look toward Remus with a smirk. 

Sirius’ face falls in suspicion when Remus concentrates and taps his wand toward the magazine silently. It floats momentarily, blurring and spinning in the air, and sets itself down in it’s new recolored hot pink form. A butt plug. 

Sirius lets out a snicker and picks it up even as his face heats. He checks out the base with a cocked eyebrow. “It’s even got a diamond on its end. Moony, what are you trying to tell me with this?” he whispers. 

He is having a hard time believing rule-following Remus would transfigure something so obscene in the classroom, but he refuses to be outdone. Sirius is the rebellious one, damnit. He taps his wand and the morphed butt plug melts on the desk and regroups as a dark purple double ended dildo. Satisfied, Sirius throws a smug look at Remus and is quickly rewarded. Pink creeps up Remus’ neck and his pale ears tinge with color. 

A throat clears, and they jerk their heads toward Professor McGonagall looking down her nose at them pointedly, one eyebrow hiked. Remus flicks his wand and the quill that had been transfigured at least twenty times over in just the past ten minutes reverts to its original form. Every scratch, bent feather, and ink stain right where it had been. It would be highly impressive if their little group hadn’t already advanced secretly to Animagi. Just the other day, Pandora—the smartest Ravenclaw in their year—tried to transform her cauldron back after it had taken three different forms. While the body and material of the cauldron were fine, its legs were mismatched enough to send it wobbling off the table and clanging to the ground. 

The bell sounds, signalling the end of class. Chairs screech back against the floor as everyone starts to head to the Great Hall for midday meal. Remus and Sirius stare at each other.

“Lunch?” Remus asks, and Sirius shakes his head. He's a little worked up over Remus’ balls to transfigure a sex toy so brazenly in class. He has to admit, it’s quite the turn-on.

“Dorm?” Sirius suggests instead, pausing to study Remus’ face. There's no words, no acknowledgement, but Remus turns away from the throng of students making their way toward the Great Hall. In silent agreement, they race toward the common room, occasionally stealing gropes of each other when no one else is around to witness. 

Through the portrait, only sparing one glance to make sure there isn’t anyone skiving off, Sirius throws his arms around Remus, pulling Remus into him. They smile into the kiss, and when they break Sirius laughs and dashes around Remus, running up the stairs to their shared dorm room knowing Remus will give in to the chase. Bursting through the door, Remus shoves it closed behind him and catches Sirius, tossing him onto Remus’ bed. 

He nips at Sirius’s throat. Sirius throws his head back, giving Remus permission and space to continue. The bed is soft beneath him, and Sirius arches his hips into Remus’, grinding their groins together. 

“Need…” Sirius groans at a bite on his neck, just under where his jaw and ear meet. He pants heavily from the run, unable to catch his breath. Desire burns a path from his ears, making his chest tighten, and pulsing down to his prick. Feeling frustration as his fingers grip only at fabric, Sirius bites out a forceful, “Less clothes.”

The growl vibrates through Remus, and Sirius shuts his eyes and hums his approval. But Remus pulls away from Sirius to remove his own shirt, and Sirius uses his time wisely pointing his wand to the door and locking it with a silent  _ colloportus _ . He gets up from his position and throws his shirt over his head, kneeing his way off the bed. Sirius quickly unbuttons his trousers, slips them and his pants away, and hooks his fingers through his socks, stepping out of the rest of his clothing. 

Remus still has his trousers and pants on, though they are unbuttoned and halfway down his thighs, ass and cock hanging free. His eyes rake up and down Sirius’ body with a burning hungry expression. Sirius watches his throat move. Remus’ adam's apple bobs as he swallows. 

His lips are dry. Sirius licks them and runs at Remus, pushing him over on the bed and pinning him.  _ It’s my turn to run things _ , Sirius thinks. Their lips collide and Sirius runs his palms across Remus’ arms, biceps, collarbones, across his pecs and down his chest, finally grounding his weight against the substantial solidness of his ribs and abs. Sirius uses his new balance to adjust his legs and hips, straddling Remus’ thighs. He rocks his ass to slide back against Remus’ half-hard prick. 

Sirius lifts up, parting their lips hesitantly. He slips his ass back up Remus’ cock and swings his pelvis until his prick rubs against Remus’ stomach giving him the friction he craves. Remus’ fingers press deep into the thigh of his hamstrings, kneading the muscles beneath Sirius’ skin. His hands slide up, gripping Sirius’ ass and pulling his cheeks apart. He pushes Sirius backside to slide against a now full erection. 

Sirius continues inching back until the head of Remus’ leaking cock presses against his opening, every nerve there lighting up at the touch. He stutters a moment. Remus’ prick pulses against him, more moisture smearing against his opening, and Sirius slips his ass up and down to spread the precome along Remus' cock. 

Remus grunts. Sirius rocks back and let’s the crown of Remus’ prick catch on his rim for a moment, pushing at it to open up. He moves forward again, relaxes, and on the next rock back impales himself slowly, feeling the burn—relishing the way it makes him feel alive. Sirius’ entire body sparks. His nerves light up, starting from his groin and moving outward until his fingers tingle. The reaction makes his head feel dizzy and fuzzy. Sirius’ wobbles and he grips at Remus’ stomach.

He can feel Remus’ dick drive inside him, his foreskin pulling back as he pushes deeper. Sirius lets Remus set their pace at first, adjusting himself minutely until he finds the perfect angle and knows he can balance himself. 

Finding it, he starts meeting Remus’ thrusts, pushing deeper, and bouncing off, stalling in the air just before Remus’ cockhead could pop free. He can hear their muggy skin clap against each other. His thighs burn; his abs yell at him, but he doesn’t care. He only listens to the part in his brain that tells him it would be hot if he could come without touching his dick, letting his body and Remus’ cock milk his prostate instead. 

Sirius groans and throws his head back, just the thought almost sending him over the edge. Remus actually growls then, the threatening sound filling the air. His fingernails dig into the flesh of Sirius’ ass, and the extra point of grounding floods Sirius' nerve endings, sending him sparking again. He briefly wonders if he’s a bit of a masochist, the feeling spreading throughout his body. 

Sirius stutters in his movement, feeling his whole body grow weak as his balls tighten. He’s so close.  _ So close. _

Remus takes the silent cue and starts assisting Sirius’ movements, lifting his hips and slamming them down to meet his thrusts. Sirius falls forward, catching himself with a hand against Remus’ chest. He falters, and a guttural sound from deep within escapes as he spills over. His ass clenches taut, releases, and tenses again, pulsing. 

Remus increases his speed and rams through the extra pressure with grunts. Sirius’ cock throbs and weeps again, spunk creating a line between his softening prick and Remus’ stomach. 

A secondary wave of pleasure—not as blinding as the first, but one that makes his heart skip and his chest constrict—branches from his body as he feels Remus’ dick twitch before a warmth starts to spread inside of him. Remus comes in spurts, fingers on Sirius’ hips digging in painfully as he tries to drive his cock impossibly deeper in time with each ejaculation. 

Remus slows until he stops moving entirely, still buried inside Sirius, scorching hot. Sirius closes his eyes and breathes deeply, his ass filled and all's right with the world as his brain starts unfogging and his senses start to return to normal.

The air cools on his skin, making him feel sticky and Sirius lifts a little regretfully, pulling off Remus. His ass gropes at the emptiness left behind and he moans softly. He can feel Remus’ come ooze and begin its journey down the inside of his thighs. His muscles tired, Sirius lets himself fall lightly on top of Remus.  _ I never want this to end, _ he thinks, even if he knows it's not possible. 

They haven’t talked about it. 

He doesn’t remember how this started, only that they’ve been fucking for a while. Sirius knows Remus enjoys what they're doing—he wouldn't participate if he didn't. But, to Remus, what they have is nothing more than just a couple of friends fooling around. Sirius doubts he would be able to keep his cool if he saw Remus interested in someone else. He dreads to lose what they have, so instead of the easy blissful calm after sex, he feels anxiety gnaw at him. The anticipation of losing his best friend punches at his heart, aching painfully deep in his core. 

Head full and heart uncomfortably tight, Sirius shoves all thoughts away and tries to live in the now by nuzzling his face into Remus' chest. Remus’ hand plays through Sirius’ hair. Sirius hums and breathes deeply, feeling his consciousness slip. They deserve a short nap, especially if they are going to miss lunch.


	2. Remus - Crude Emotions

> **Crude** (krud)  _ adj _
> 
> raw, unprepared, unrefined, undeveloped, lacking refinement or tact, unripe, not mature.
> 
> [ dictionary.com ](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/crude)

* * *

“Have you seen him lately?”

“Something is definitely different…”

“He’s more confident—“

“So hot.”

The group is walking toward Remus, leaving him no option but to be party to their gossip. He wonders who they're talking about as he enters the Great Hall. Peter, James, and Sirius are in their usual spot sitting lazily at the Gryffindor table. They all look up and Sirius waves him over.

He steps forward and hears more, ears pricking to pick up the full bit of gossip passing among the students.

“I don’t know what's happened, but Black has seriously gotten a glow about him.”

‘I know! It’s very attractive. You don’t think he’s got a girlfriend, do you?”

“I only ever see him with his friends. I’m pretty sure he’s single.”

Remus frowns. His eyes lock onto Sirius who has a piece of toast hanging from his mouth and he punches James in the shoulder as he gives Peter a finger. His eyes flick up and seem to twinkle at him and Remus forces an uneasy smile, moving forward to sit with his friends.

James laughs loudly. “You don’t think Lily would ever go for Snivellus, do you?” No one speaks up and the joy in his eyes dies a little, smile remaining but stilted on his face. His eyes grow wide, flicking between all of them for reactions. “Seriously?” He croaks and Sirius throws his head back in laughter, Peter snickering beside Remus. Remus casts a small grin toward James, and James relaxes. 

“You guys are the worst,” he says.

“Black!” Someone yells from one of the house tables and Sirius looks behind him. A Hufflepuff is standing just a few feet away, her friends behind her grinning in anticipation. 

“Uhm,” she starts, “my name is Heather and I was wondering if you—if you weren’t already dating anyone at the moment if you’d be interested in going to Hogsmeade with me next weekend.” 

Remus’ grin falls from his face. His hearing focuses so completely on Sirius, he only vaguely notices James and Peter slapping the back of their hands at each other from his periphery.

Sirius is facing away from Remus, toward Heather. He moves a hand through his hair and tucks it behind his ear. He says something, but Remus’ inner wolf is so focused on Sirius’ startled breathing—the skip of his heartbeat, and the smell of sweat prickling his skin—he misses Sirius’ answer. 

The girls are already gone by the time Sirius has turned around and looks at him. His lips move, saying something. Remus’ ears ring and the Great Hall comes back into focus, Sirius’ voice coming through it all crystal clear. “—should eat. We have double Herbology.”

Remus’ stomach fills with acid. The thought of eating sends an image of him retching over a toilet. 

But Sirius stands up and gathers his books. “We’re going ahead. See you there.”

He grabs for a piece of plain toast, folds it, and forcefully swallows it down, following with rapid gulps of tea. He uses the advantage of his height and long strides to quickly catch up with the others on their way to the greenhouse. Remus is quiet the whole way. His throat feels raw and sore from his ill-consumed breakfast, morosely matching a pang in his chest.

* * *

“Attention, everyone! Gather round,” Professor Slughorn calls toward the end of the period and the classroom shuffles to surround the teacher’s desk. The Professor takes the lid off his cauldron. Slughorn speaks up to the room. “Take a little sniff,” he says. 

Remus chokes a little, the air becoming thick and heavy with scents that make him feel immediately intoxicated. Sun-soaked skin, too strong tea lightened with just a touch of milk, and—weirdly enough—grass torn from its stalks to be shoved down his shirt. He immediately knows what the potion is, what the smells mean for him, and his stomach drops to his feet at the realisation. He can't lie to himself any longer. 

He had his suspicions, of course. He always knew he loved Sirius; knew he loved him even more than Peter or James. But  _ this _ — _ this _ is more than he could have guessed. His throat constricts, it’s hard to breathe. Remus wants to blame the cloying scents invading his every being, to deny it all. Panic courses through him at his new enlightenment. In his brain, the curtains are parted and the sun is shining through a clear cloudless sky. So why does he feel like he’s about to be pushed off the edge of a tall mountain cliff? His heart hammers in his chest, the world shrinks around him, and he realizes he’s just playing a waiting game. He’s waiting for Sirius to lose interest. He’s waiting to lose everything.

“Can anyone tell me what is brewing in my cauldron? Yes, you in the back?”

A small reedy voice responds, “is it Amortentia, Professor?”

“Yes. Very good. Ten points to Ravenclaw. Now,” he sets the lid on the desk, leaving the cauldron open. Remus wishes he would close it. The fumes are wrapping around him and he feels like he’s floating and drowning at the same time. He screws his eyes closed, barely registering the Professor mention how in two weeks time they will move from the Revive potion to Amortentia. 

He wonders if he will survive. Maybe a quick talk with the Headmaster would provide him with a pass to leave school for those two weeks. Remus opens his eyes and looks behind him. Some people have their eyes closed, probably thinking of crushes who aren’t there. Others cast furtive glances at those whose scent is reminiscent of Amortentia. But more than a few classmates are staring at Sirius with awe and something ugly twists in Remus’ heart. He knows there’s a word for it, but he refuses to name it and make it real. His eyes focus on Sirius.

Sirius isn’t looking at anyone. His eyes are cast toward the floor, or maybe they are closed. Remus listens and can hear his heart slow and race with each new breath. The room begins to reek with arousal. Remus sorts the smells, looking for one in particular, and an ache thrums in his chest when he finds it. Sirius  _ is _ interested in someone. Remus stares at Sirius, willing him to look up.

He doesn’t.

That answers that question, Remus thinks, his heart clenching painfully at the thought.

Sirius doesn’t have feelings for him.

Class breaks, and Remus cuts through the crowd to leave as quickly as he can. People around him are talking about going to the library to study or the courtyard to play gobstones before dinner. He faintly hears Sirius curse while struggling to pack his things quickly. 

Remus doesn't want to talk to anyone. He heads for the common room, already thinking of his bed. He wants to lay around and mope for a while, let his pain be real for a moment before shoving it away to be a good friend for Sirius and cheer him on from the sidelines. Could he even do that? 

But Sirius follows him, galloping occasionally to keep up with Remus’ long strides. Remus’ heart tugs, wanting to know why, but also overwhelmed by the thick leftover arousal that permeated their classroom and an uneasiness he can’t place. 

“Wormwood,” Remus croaks out to the portrait and she swings open. 

As Remus takes the stairs to the dorm two at a time, Sirius speaks up behind him, his voice low with a bit of a worried whine. “Moony…” There’s inflection to Sirius’ voice. It’s gentle, but Remus can feel the distress and worry it carries.

Remus feels his face screw up, ugly. Tension flares across his forehead, bringing forward a rhythmic thump of pain he’d briefly forgotten had begun while they were brewing their Revive Potion. 

He huffs—bursting through his dorm door—trying to rid his nose of the provocative Salamander blood calling to his wolf, and the peppermint tickling and irritating his sinus cavities. But they aren’t even prominent anymore. Instead, he gets another whiff, scents reminding him of amortentia that constrict his chest uncomfortably.

Remus falls on his bed at an angle, face down with his feet hanging off one side of the bed. He realises he can’t get rid of the scents because they are ingrained heavily in his quilt and flitting about in the air. His heart thrums against his chest again. The mattress dips as he feels Sirius’ body heat against his leg. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

Remus doesn’t reply. He just buries his face in his blankets and lets them dry his dampening eyes as his best friend who he’s in love with attempts to comfort him while thinking of someone else. He's unable to stop himself from breathing in the aroma of Sirius and it makes everything worse.  _ Fuck.  _ The full moon is Saturday. He doesn’t know if he should just tell his friends to leave him alone, or try and act normal to find some sense of relief. ‘Fake it 'til you make it,’ Lily once said. It probably wouldn’t hurt as bad if James and Peter were there too, right? 

He’s not sure when he drifts off, but Sirius wakes him, shuffling about with fabric what seems like hours later. He mentions something about dinner, but Remus just waves him off and drifts back into peaceful nothing. A place he can pretend he’s loved back. In sleep, he can escape. 


	3. Sirius - Moody Moony

> **Moody** (moo-dee) _adj_
> 
> gloomy, depressed, sullen, ill-humored, temperamental; exhibiting sharply varying emotions.
> 
> [ dictionary.com ](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/moody)

* * *

Sirius isn’t sleeping well—hasn’t for the past week. The full moon came and went and Sirius was so sure Remus would be better after a night in the woods. He was certain Remus’ mood had something to do with the moon. But when morning rose and Remus was just as closed off, Sirius didn’t know what to do. And ever since, Remus rejected all of Sirius’ flirtations.

Sirius laughs derisively to himself. He measures his own mood maybe only slightly higher than Remus’. Remus wouldn’t even let Sirius sleep beside him. Sirius isn’t the only one who’s noticed. Even James and Peter have shared his looks—questioning what’s wrong with Remus. Sirius feels as though he’s failed some vital best friend test.

They have a double for Potions after lunch. Sirius is not looking forward to making Amortentia. The smell of it is addictive, but it leaves him with a nasty headache after class ends. 

It feels like he’s lost Remus, and he hasn’t even confessed to him. The loss of their closeness is eating at him and Sirius feels ill. He knows the lack of sleep and appetite lately isn’t good for his health, but he can’t sleep and food doesn’t settle right when he watches Remus in his state.

“Has anyone finished the assignment for Defense Against the Dark Arts yet?” Peter asks at breakfast.

“Yeah,” James replies with his mouth full of toast and coughs slightly, reaching for his pumpkin juice.

“What did you end up getting for—” Peter points at his parchment, but Sirius stops paying attention when Remus slumps down on the bench where an open seat was left for him. Even with Remus' obvious lack of excitement, Sirius feels just a fraction lighter with Remus sitting down to eat at breakfast. 

“Morning, Moony,” Sirius says. The queasy roll in his abdomen lets up enough for him to stomach the idea of eating a croissant. 

“-ning,” the end of the mumble is all Sirius hears. He reaches for two croissants and places one on Remus’ plate.

Remus looks down at the pastry and before he can reject it or say anything, Sirius sets peppermint tea with a lemon slice in front of his plate. “Eat a little, please. We’ve got a long day ahead.”

He knows what it looks like, and it’s exactly what it looks like. Sirius is mothering Remus to make sure he eats and drinks; he’ll be damned if Remus wastes away while he can help it. He wants Remus to talk to him: tell him what’s wrong, and maybe what he can do to help. 

Remus just grunts at him and picks apart his scone. By the end of their meal, Sirius looks at Remus’ plate and can’t tell if he’s eaten any of it or he’s just shred it into so many tiny pieces it looks like chunks are missing. With a sigh, he pats Remus’ back and gets off the bench seat, grabbing his books.

“Time for class, Moony.”

* * *

After Defense Against the Dark Arts lets out, Sirius and James stay back a bit while they watch Peter chase after a moping Remus on his way to Herbology. 

“What’s eating at him?” James nudges Sirius' shoulder with his own.

Sirius looks back at his bag on his desk and rolls up the homework parchment he was working on in class, stuffing it into his bag. “He won’t tell me. I don’t know.”

“That’s strange.” James pats his back and Sirius’ hair falls in a curtain to hide his face. “Usually he and I have to fight for your best friend status.”

Sirius flicks his head back to flip hair from his face and combs a hand through it for extra measure to ensure the look of horrified confusion is properly seen on his face. 

“Don’t look at me like that, Padfoot. I clearly mean it’s an internal battle. Like... seeing which side of the table you sit on, who you hang out with more, and then trying to hang out with you more than the other.” James sighs heavily when Sirius doesn’t move and grabs Sirius’ bag, making for the door. “Don’t worry. Just means you’re popular and well loved.”

“Feels like Moony should be getting more of that love right now. Before he just,” Sirius uses both his hands to gesture poofing into nothingness accompanied by a fading whoosh sound.

James laughs a bit, probably at Sirius more than the situation. “When did it start? Do you know what happened?” 

“Mmm.. well—” _it started the day after we had the best shag ever_ , but he isn't going to say that aloud. Sirius isn't insane. Not yet, at least. And it was true that every time they’d had sex, it just kept getting better and better. “He was fine on the day we fucked around in transfiguration… McGonagall was not so pleased though.” Sirius smiled remembering their game. 

“The next morning, that’s when it all got weird.” Sirius had thought about this a lot over the weekend while trying to figure out what happened.

They stay silent while taking the stairs, waiting on one while it moves to the corridor leading to the Greenhouses. After passing through a door into an open air corridor, James speaks up, “What did you do?”

Sirius scoffs and stops. “Excuse me?”

James turns to face him and arches a brow with pursed lips. “You heard me. What did you do?”

“What makes you think _I_ did anything?”

“Well, you’re the one closest to him. Peter and I are his good friends, too. But if we are being honest, we’ve got nothing on you two. So more than likely, it’s got something to do with you. Or his family.” James looks up in thought, “Or it could be something with… the moon or what not.”

Sirius shakes his head. There's no one in the corridor, so he speaks softly, but doesn't code his words as much as he usually would. “I think I’ve already ruled out the moon. He started acting funny before Saturday. And it’s not helped. Unless there’s something else he’s not told us…”

James nods and continues walking, which prompts Sirius to follow. James adds, “And if it was his family, that’s something he’d tell you about, if not all of us. Which just leaves you, right?”

Sirius fiddles with his fingers in front of him until James shoves his bag in his arms. “It… What if he was rejected by someone?”

It’s James who turns an annoyed questioning look at Sirius this time. “Did he tell you he liked someone? He’s either really good at hiding it, or you’re the reason he’s upset. Because most people can’t hide the fact they like someone enough that gets them this depressed after being rejected.”

James holds open Greenhouse 2’s door and Sirius walks through, throwing, “Not everyone is as obvious about liking someone as you are with Lily. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re the anomaly here, James.”

James thunks himself in the chest with his bag as he places both hands splayed over his chest and features a hurt expression on his face. “Not even using my name properly. Prongs. It’s Prongs. I’m so hurt, Padfoot. No wonder you’re the culprit.” He smarts up and thrusts his chin in the air in mock arrogance. “Perhaps you should apologise. To me and to Moony.”

Sirius smacks him in the back of the head with a laugh and they go find their places among the long wooden bench full of pots.

* * *

The idea to apologise to Remus keeps running through his head. Even if he's not sure what for... It's been almost two weeks since Remus’ sudden change in mood. 

After lunch and on their way to Potions for their last day and final grading of the Revive potion, Sirius decides he can’t take it anymore and pulls Remus into a less traveled hallway and pushes him onto a bench. It helps that he looks startled rather than depressed. 

“Moony,” Sirius starts. He looks down at the scarred face in front of him, but realises he doesn't want to look down at Remus when talking seriously with him. He sits, putting a hand on Remus’ knee and squeezing it. Remus tenses, and Sirius breathes deeply deciding to just spit it all out and get it over and done.

“Look, Moony. I don’t know what I’ve done. I’ve tried to talk to you, to figure out if it was me, or something, _someone_ … I—I have no idea what’s going on in that head of yours.” _You won’t talk to me or tell me,_ he thinks, but blaming Remus isn’t going to help Sirius now. “But if I have done something to make you feel upset in any way, I’m _really_ sorry.” 

Remus shakes his head. “No. It’s,” he sighs and the hurt look blooms on his face again. 

Sirius’ heart clenches painfully, and his whole body tenses as he realises he _is_ somehow the cause for a somber Remus. He swallows thickly.

“It’s… nothing, Padfoot. Nothing for you to be concerned about.” Remus isn’t looking at him.

“Nothing?” Sirius hears his own voice break as hurt and anger rise up from his stomach and battle with each other. Frustration and outrage overlap the pain enough to color his emotions and tone. “Nothing. So, what? You’ve just been moping about the last two weeks because it’s fun? Oh, yeah. Seems like a whole lot of nothing,” Sirius stands, unable to sit with itchy agitation, “when you won’t eat and you don’t sleep worth shit. You don’t ask for help, but you also refuse to answer when your friends ask what’s wrong.”

Remus looks shocked and Sirius scrubs at his face trying to calm himself. He lets his hands fall away and looks from Remus to the ceiling.The only sounds are foot falls, birds, and distant chatter; eventually Sirius looks back at Remus. “Moony, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here for you, but the only way I can help you is if you talk to me. And if you can’t talk to me, then…” Sirius screws his eyes shut and flings his arm toward the corridor they came from, “talk to Prongs, or Wormtail. But please, _please,_ don’t keep whatever it is all bottled up. It’s not doing us any favours, especially not you.”

Sirius studies Remus’ face, hoping for an answer. All he gets is scrunched up eyebrows and a silent nod. Closing his eyes, Sirius reaches for Remus and pulls him up by his arm. He wraps his arms around Remus’ middle and Remus goes stiff. Sirius sighs into his shoulder for just a moment before letting go. “Come on. We don’t want to be too late for Potions on grading day.”

The four of them venture from the lakeside—where they were leisurely working on assignments and faffing about after Potions ended their day of classes—back to the Great Hall for dinner. Sirius checks behind him and notices that Remus is trailing behind but following them nonetheless. He smiles gently to himself. Remus wasn’t better, per se, but at least he wasn’t moping about as much after their talk. He might even get the gangly man to eat something substantial for the first time in weeks. 

Deciding he is going to sit beside Remus for dinner, Sirius directs James and Peter to the other side of the table and they all sit in their usual spots among the other Gryffindors. Remus settles next to Sirius and Sirius begins his mission of doling out small portions of Remus’ favorites on his plate. James and Peter talk enough for all of them. And when Sirius looks up to check on him, Remus gives him a small smile. Sirius starts on his own plate, feeling his mouth curve up at both ends and an easiness he’s not had in a while. Appetite back up, Sirius piles food on his own plate and digs in.

About halfway through his food, a wolf whistle fills the Great Hall. He turns his head around and a Gryffindor 4th year boy is behind him with a reddened face and a sunflower in his hands. “Sirius Black!” He juts the flower forward and shuts his eyes tight. “Would you accept this flower from me, and maybe have a study date with me tomorrow evening?”

Remus slams his hands on the table next to him. Sirius’ head whips around to watch as Remus—already on his feet with his head bowed—steps over the bench seat and stalks out of the Great Hall. Sirius looks at his plate and notices only a quarter of the small portions he served earlier is missing .His face falls as concern envelopes him.

Peter whispers to James, “What is his deal lately?” 

Sirius scowls his way to tell him how off base he is but the kid behind his stammers behind him. “S-Sirius?” Unfortunately for the 4th year, Sirius has more important things to worry about. 

“Sorry, kid,” he says and hurries out of the Great Hall to find Remus. 

Remus is in their dorm room, laid out on the bed just as he was two weeks ago. Sirius lets out a breath, sits on the edge of the bed closest to Remus’ torso and combs his fingers through Remus’ hair. He can't remember the last time he was able to touch Remus like this — probably since that day, two weeks ago. Sirius sorely misses it and hopes that just being beside the oaf will help when he won’t say a word. After an hour of soothing Remus, Sirius bends over, kisses the top of his head, and pulls his quilt from his own bed. He settles it over Remus’ long body and gets ready for bed himself, pulling out an extra quilt from his trunk.


	4. James- Smells of Mischief

> **Subterfuge** (suhb-ter-fyooj)  _ noun _
> 
> something intended to misrepresent the true nature of an activity;   
>  scheme, deceit, slight, dodge, trick, ruse, ploy.
> 
> [ onelook.com ](https://onelook.com/thesaurus/?s=subterfuge)

* * *

“We need to help them,” James sets his book down on the table next to Peter and slides into the seat.

“Help them how? They won’t talk to each other and they won’t listen to either of us when we try to help them.” Peter is right about that, James thinks. But they have to do something.

Both of them leave Sirius and Remus alone, forcing them to work with unsuspecting classmates (since they aren’t working together for some foolish reason) to feel the wrath of their unspoken grumpiness. James might feel a little guilty about it, but he knows they need a plan to stop their stupidity once and for all.

“I don’t know who they think they are fooling. We know they have a thing for each other. And until the other day—when I was talking to Sirius—I was certain they were dating.” James opens his book to page 416, per Professor Slughorn’s instruction.

He looks toward Peter, expecting some retort. Peter’s eyes are wide, “You mean they weren’t dating?” Peter’s mouth moves a few more times before finally speaking. “But… all the touchy-feeliness and being locked out of the dorm. Not to mention, they never use a silencing charm.”

“They sure fooled us,” James smirks. His humor is short lived, however. “Unfortunately, they might have fooled themselves, too. There’s no way they are just friends. Anybody can see it.”

“Except all the girls drooling over Sirius.”

“And boys," James says, before—"Wait..." Sirius has always been on the receiving end of attention—something about his looks, his confidence, and everyone loves a bad boy right? But recently it’s been ramped up, and James isn’t sure why. “Maybe  _ that’s _ it?”

“Huh?” Peter looks back at James, his quill hanging from the side of his mouth.

“Ugh, stop that Peter. It’s gross.” James snatches the quill away by the feathers and sets it next to their open books on Peter’s side. “Oh!” Peter’s book is open to the same page, and it’s then James notices they are preparing to brew Amortentia. “Perfect,” he smiles while a plan begins to hatch in his mind.

Knowing they have at least a week to work with Amortentia and the first class is going to be theory—ingredients, properties, and why they’re used together—James decides splitting up their efforts might yield the best results.

“You partner with Remus. I’ll partner with Sirius. I reckon your empathy will go a long way in helping Remus. We’ve got to make sure they know what they smell in the potion. And they have to recognize it for themselves. Got it?” 

Peter nods at James and they go over a few herding questions to get the boys to spill using words instead of keeping their thoughts to themselves. 

“And after that?” Peter asks.

“After that, Wormtail,” James hooks his arm around the smaller boy and looks to the ceiling, his other arm slowly arcing in front of him drawing an invisible rainbow, “we have all the answers to make everything right again.”

James is thunked in the head and he scrambles around, picking up a crumpled up piece of parchment and throwing a look over his shoulder where the paper had been thrown to find a scowling Sirius. He flattens it. 

_ Stop being a scheming twat. Peter is too gullible, prick. _

James looks over his shoulder and shoots an air kiss Sirius’ way. Sirius’ face screws up in irritation and refocuses on his book.

* * *

“Now, stir your potion three times counter-clockwise, and let it sit,” Professor Slughorn speaks up and draws attention from the class, instructing everyone in their first attempt at the potion later in the week. “It should start to change colors, becoming almost pearl-like. And steam should begin rising in spirals.”

James watches while Sirius stirs. “I wonder what we will smell, hmm?”

“I’m sure everyone in the whole school knows what you will smell, Prongs,” Sirius laughs at him.

“But what of you? You never tell me if anyone catches your eye. You’re just always sneaking about with Moony when we aren’t all hanging together.”

Sirius chokes a little and James picks up on it immediately, but lets it be. He focuses on the potion instead, and waits for Sirius, who eventually speaks. “So, what do you smell?” Sirius gestures toward the cauldron. “We want to make sure it’s working correctly, after all.”

James leans forward and draws a deep inhale. He slowly recedes in his seat and says, “Honeysuckle blossoms, flicking through well used pages of books from the library, and the whiff of jasmine anytime she passes or leaves.”

He looks at Sirius, feeling a little flushed and drunk from the potion’s fumes drawing his emotions to the forefront. 

A big knowing smile is spread across Sirius’ face. “You’re done for, aren’t you?”

“What? Amortentia gave it away? I thought it was bloody obvious a long time ago, mate.” James smiles back and waves toward the cauldron, messing his hair up at the thought of Lily. “We know it’s been brewed correctly, so it’s your turn. What do you smell?”

“If we know that it’s right, we can turn it in. No reason for both of us to check—“ James pushes Sirius’ head over the cauldron. Caught off guard, he chokes a bit and is forced to take a deep breath.

Sirius lingers over the cauldron after James removes his hand. James waits until Sirius sits back down, pupils blown wide. 

“You’re a right arse,” Sirius says, but there’s no malice in his words.

James grins and prods him with a foot. “Out with it. I am sure I already know, anyway. Not going to surprise me any.”

Sirius snaps his eyes shut and his face calms giving in to defeat. A soft, if melancholic, smile twitches on his lips.“Woods. I smell the heavy scent of the trees and the crisp night time air when running during the full moon. Early morning dew and slightly cooled peppermint tea with a fresh lemon wedge. And...” he pauses to take another deep sniff of the air thick with multiple cauldrons adding more fumes to the air, “a slight spicy earthiness I can’t quite describe other than—”

“Moony,” James finishes and grins. “It is brewed correctly then,” he says.

Sirius’ eyes open and he punches James lightly in the ribs. 

“So,” James starts as he pulls out two vials and spells a portion of the potion into each so they can turn it in, “what happened with you two?”

Sirius’ face turns cold and he scrunches his eyebrows. “I don’t know, really.” He leans forward on the table in front of them, laying his head on one arm. The other wraps around and he begins to run his fingers through long, dark, wavy hair. “I don’t know why, but he just… stopped talking to me. Even when I try…”

James watches Sirius, waiting for him to finish. When he doesn’t, James huffs and pushes his chair back to turn in their vials. He returns, spells the cauldron clean, and leans on one elbow while his other arm soothes Sirius’ back. “Don’t worry, Snuffles. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

Sirius’ face is hidden, but his head moves up and down, hair falling around his shoulders.  _ Don’t worry, Padfoot, _ James thinks, patting Sirius now.  _ Wormtail and I will help _ .

* * *

Night falls and the Gryffindor common room slowly thins out. Remus is staring at the fire and Sirius’ body is half thrown on a couch, dozing in and out. Peter yawns and snaps his Advanced Herbology book shut. Deciding it is time, James gets to his feet with a stretch and pokes at Remus and Sirius. “Bed time.”

Remus doesn’t fight. He just gets up and heads for the stairs, listless as he tends to be these days. Sirius watches after him with one open eye. James pokes him in the shin hanging from the couch with a socked toe. “You too, grumpy.”

He only mumbles incoherently and drags himself slumpily up the stairs, swaying. Peter is about to follow, books stacked and ready to be tossed in his trunk when he gets to the dorm. James catches his arm and gestures with his chin for Peter to put them down.

“So,” James starts, sitting back down in the armchair, “what did you get from Moony today?”

Acknowledgement of why he was kept back dawns on Peter’s face and he settles on the abandoned couch. “Moony told me what he smelled, but I have no clue what it means.”

“What? Well… okay, what did he smell then? Maybe I’ll get it.”

“Alright,” Peter says slowly, a disbelieving look on his face. “He said he smelled… sun? Bitter tea with milk… and, weirdly, grass being shoved down his shirt.” At the last one Peter’s disbelief morphs into confusion. “That’s such a weird thing to smell, something might be wrong with him.”

James bursts out in laughter. His stomach shakes with each bellow and his face splits so wide his jaw begins to ache. Peter doesn’t join in and looks at James like he’s gone insane and that brings tears to James’ eyes as another bout cramps his stomach. But after a few minutes, his amusement wanes to a grin. It physically hurts, but his facial muscles refuse to relax. “Wormtail, that’s it!”

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Or do I need to summon Madam Pomfrey?”

James shakes his head. “No, no, no, Wormtail. They love each other.”

“What?” The ever clueless Peter sputters. James shakes his head again but his smile doesn’t waver.

“I thought so,” James stands and runs his fingers through his hair. He paces in front of the fireplace, thinking. “Okay… we need to help them. But they won’t talk to each other. What if we give them no choice? Wormtail,” James stops and looks at him, “know any locking spells? Specifically ones that lock a door until requirements are met?”

Peter’s face lights up. “Not off hand, but I remember looking those up in the library for Charms class last week.”

“Good. I have a plan. We need to try it this weekend. Friday. Meet me in the library tomorrow during lunch. Find the book, and I’ll smuggle us in some sandwiches.”


	5. Remus - Confinement and Confessions

> **Confined** (k _uh_ n-fahynd) _adj_
> 
> limited, restricted; unable to leave due to illness, imprisonment, etc.
> 
> [ dictionary.com ](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/confined)
> 
> **Confess** (k _uh_ n-fesh) _verb_
> 
> acknowledgement, admission of truth;  
>  disclosure or declaration of sin or guilt; profession of belief.
> 
> [ dictionary.com ](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/confession)

* * *

James corners Remus outside their dorm room. 

Remus usually wakes up early and studies in the common room. Lately, he’s been hiding from his friends as everyone wakes before deciding whether he wants to try and eat breakfast. James and Sirius, however, are typically the last to wake. 

James is up too early to be normal. It’s suspicious. Remus tends to rely on his instincts when James is involved.

“Moony! Wormtail and I need to practice a few spells for Charms class, but Professor Flitwick said we need to get permission from a teacher to clear out and use a classroom first. And since it’s about to be the weekend, we were thinking about heading down to the shrieking shack, instead. We can spend the whole weekend down there if we need to. You should come with. You know, in case we need saving or anything.” A grin is plastered on James’ face as he shrugs with the last line.

“Alright,” Remus sighs, knowing James’ talent at getting himself in trouble.

“Great! Sirius is going to bring us food from the kitchens.”

Before Remus can stop him, James bounces out of the common room and into the school corridors with his too-energetic-for-this-time-of-morning self. Remus sags against the wall and closes his eyes. He’s not slept well for weeks and even now, less than an hour after waking up, his body feels sluggish and not at all revitalized. He rubs at his eyes and takes his books downstairs to a couch, intending to stay awake and get the last bit of homework finished for the morning’s double Transfiguration lesson he has with Sirius. _Today’s going to be a long day_.

* * *

When Remus arrives at the Shrieking Shack with Peter, James is helping Sirius spread out his haul from the kitchens. There is so much food, and Remus wonders if they are intending to stay for the weekend or the entire week. 

“Right. So what spells are you and Peter working on, James?” Remus plops on a broken down couch. His fingers toy with the split fabric, the threads unraveling further with his thoughts. Many moons he spent in this very room—alone with his wolf—trapped with a flurry of emotions not his own. The state of the bare furniture that fills the shack is a testament to a time now past. He’s freer and no longer alone, his wolf an accepted part of his pack.

James glares at him. “First Sirius and now you, Remus? It’s like we aren’t friends at all!”

“What’s he on about?” Remus asks the other two. Peter shakes his head.

“He’s mad you and I didn’t use his nickname. And now he’s apparently not going to use ours until we reciprocate.” Sirius raises his eyebrow at James.

James nods with a smug grin, patting Sirius on the shoulder. “Right you are, Sirius.” 

“And?” Remus asks.

They all look at Remus wondering what he’s asking.

“What spells are you practicing, _James_?” Remus doesn’t quite smile, but he feels his eyes crinkle a bit. It’s the first time in a while he’s felt remotely happy and he doesn’t want to ruin it. He wants their weekend in the shack to be filled with joy. He wants things to be normal—to be normal around Sirius again.

James grimaces. “Well, _Remus_ , we are practicing wards, shields, and advanced locking spells.”

Remus squints at him. “Didn't we already master advanced locking and shielding spells? We just have a few more wards before N.E.W.T.s.”

“No,” Peter pipes up. “This is a combination spell. We are working on combining them to create something more substantial.”

“And interesting,” James adds, and Peter nods his agreement.

“I thought we were studying for our classes?” asks Sirius. “We have the same charms class. This wasn’t an assignment we were given.”

“Wormtail and I are working on this one for fun,” James clarifies. “Also, if it’s successful, we might be able to submit it to the Ministry as an official spell that can be used by Aurors.” 

Sirius purses his lips and Remus hums before asking, “So what are you combining, and what effect are you looking for?”

James eyes Peter before answering. “Well, we are using an advanced locking spell, guarded against unlocking spells, and a charm that acts as the key. They are weaved into the ward, to prevent apparition, and shielding spell, which restricts physical escape from the spelled area. Once the charm is satisfied, the ward and shield fall away and the magic disperses. Since we are technically outside the apparition wards from Hogwarts, we thought this would be an even better place to test it.”

“Easy, then,” Sirius says with a huff.

Remus feels a headache start behind his eyes and he rubs at the bridge of his nose. “So, what are the conditions to satisfy the charm?”

Peter speaks up this time, “It will depend on what the spell is used for. If it’s to keep someone from ruining an undercover operation, it can be cast with a timed charm up to an hour. If it’s to get someone to be forthcoming about a crime they witnessed, the charm can look specifically for truth to be mentioned about the subject laid into the locking spell.”

“And what kind of practice are you doing?” Sirius asks, sounding more intrigued.

“Well,” James rubs at his nose and stands up proud, “we’ve already successfully cast the timed charm. Now we need to practice weaving the subjects into the locking spells and casting the truth charms.”

Remus and Sirius nod in understanding, but Remus is concerned about one thing. “What if the truth charm or the subject locking spell is faulty? How do you break the spell to let the people out when you know it’s gone awry?”

James looks at Remus with a hiked eyebrow. “Whoever cast it just needs to cast a _finite incantatem_. Obviously.”

“Right,” Remus says, but he’s still not sure this is a smart idea. “So, we are just watching you two lock each other up, then?”

Peter and James share another look and Remus gets a bad feeling in his stomach. “Well,” Peter says, “not exactly…”

They both point their wands toward Sirius and Remus and cast an _incarcerous_ before either of them get a chance to shield themselves. 

“You’ll thank us for this later,” James says as he casts _locomotor_ and drops them into a tiny half bath on the same floor. With the door open, Remus watches as Peter and James cast the locking spell, a charm, and then weave in a ward and shield around the entire bathroom. Once they finish, Peter and James point their wands at Remus and Sirius and reverse their incarcerous charms. 

“What the _fuck!?”_ Sirius yells and advances on them, but the shield stops him just before the opening of the door. He thumps his fists against it but the invisible barrier only shimmers as his hand bounces back.

Remus rolls his eyes and sighs before looking directly at James. “What’s the key, Prongs?”

James smirks, face showing he catches the intentional use of his nickname, but shakes his head. “You two have to figure out what is going on between you,” he points at them both. “Once you know why Moony is upset, you can address it. And then the spells will fall away. We’ve already perfected these, by the way. And, regrettably, we weren't the ones who created them. So, unfortunately for you, the spell doesn’t really have any holes.” James waves at them and sings, “Good luck.”

Peter closes the door with a smile and a wave and Remus hears them both walk away.

“Fuck!” Sirius yells in frustration. “Those gits; just wait until I get my hands on them!”

Remus sighs and sits on the toilet seat, flicking his wand and casting _lumos_. Sirius plops on the ground and grumbles, running a hand through his wavy black hair. After a while, the grumbles turn into silence and the awkwardness of both of them not talking in a relatively dark, rundown, and cramped space gets to be too much. 

Remus tries for something, “Did you go on a date with that Gryffindor 4th year?”

“What?” Sirius stares at him incredulously. “Of course not. He's a fourth year Moony—gross—and if that weren't enough... well… I’m not interested.”

“Oh,” is all Remus can say.

“What do you care, anyway? You just up and left.” Sirius shrugs and looks at the floor.

“I-uhm…” Remus falls silent again.

Sirius sighs in a way that expresses his exasperation with the world. Flinching, Remus realises he was probably included in the sentiment. “I came after you, you know? After I turned him down. I was there in the dorm room with you. Just after you entered.”

“Right. I remember,” and he does. Now, at least.

“Why?” Sirius asks, his eyes searching Remus’ now, and Remus feels as though he can’t run away from them. “Why did you storm off?”

Remus’ breath catches in his throat and stays there, growing stale until he needs to let it go for the pain it causes. He shudders. If he says it now, they could probably leave the room. If Sirius doesn’t feel the same, Remus will get over it. Surely. It might take time, but Sirius definitely wouldn’t let something like that come between their friendship. Right? And James and Peter won’t let them out until they figure out the key. Sirius doesn’t know the key. Only Remus, and he is desperate to run away.

“I-I was…” he swallows and stands, pushing back his hair. Sirius stands too. Sirius nudges closer to the toilet and Remus circles the small area. He turns back to face Sirius, resolute. “I was jealous.”

“You were _jealous?”_ Sirius says in an awe tone, incredulous. It takes a moment, but Remus watches as Sirius plays with the word in his head and figures it out. The irritation fades from his face, then his body and is replaced with something Remus can’t place. “Jealous,” he repeats, backing Remus against the sink. Remus swears he sees Sirius’ eyes reflect the light from his wand for a moment.

He laughs and crowds into Remus’ chest, wrapping his arms around Remus’ midsection. “Fuck. If you weren’t so depressed and distant, I’d say that was pretty hot. But—” Sirius pulls back and tugs Remus’ face down, forcing their eyes to meet in the blue glow of Remus’ lumos “—I never, _never,_ want to see you that way again.”

Sirius closes in and kisses Remus softly on the lips. Remus stills, unsure what has happened. Sirius kisses him again, and again, until Remus melts a little and it dawns on him that Sirius is okay with it all. Sirius whispers between the quick pecks. “I don’t want,” kiss, “anyone,” kiss, “but you.”

“No?” Remus’ voice comes out low, breathless, and slightly unsure. Sirius backs up to look him in the eyes again.

“No. Whatever this is,” he waves a hand in the air, “between us, was enough. But also not enough. I was bloody terrified if I said anything you’d think it was no longer convenient; that I’d lose my best friend.”

Remus swallows, his throat clicking with difficulty as mucus builds and makes everything harder. “Same. I was afraid you liked someone else. Th-that I was just here and you were used to me.”

A brilliant beautiful laugh echoes off the broken tiles and panelled walls of the small bathroom. It’s Sirius, ever enchanting even in the dilapidated shrieking shack, and Remus finds himself lost and damned forever to be captivated.

One of Sirius’ palms trails down Remus’ torso, circling and cupping his crotch while Sirius’ other hand presses into the small of his back. Remus’ prick twitches with interest and Sirius leans close to his ear.

Sirius licks firmly around the opening of his ear canal and blows before asking, “What did you smell?”

Remus groans, blood speeding down his veins to fill his cock. It isn’t just a normal question, but one seeking a deeply rooted and terrifyingly revealing answer. “S-sun,” he swallows thickly again before he can continue, trying to control his breathing. “Tea, and grass.” 

His breath hitches again at the tightening grip on his erection and Sirius all but growls, “ _Who_ did you smell?”

“You,” Remus says it at the same time as exhaling a shaky breath. “I smelled you.”

Sirius backs away just enough for the light of Remus’ lumos to illuminate the predatory grin across Sirius’ face before he crushes their lips together in a messy, demanding kiss. His hand at Remus’ crotch is gone, but before Remus can moan in complaint, Sirius grinds their groins together. Remus wants nothing more than for them to both be naked, but if the point of this entire trip to the shack was to get everything cleared in the air, he needs to know what Sirius smelled.

“Wait.” He pushes a hand against Sirius’ chest to put some distance between them so he can speak, even while his other hand rests at Sirius’ backside, keeping him close. Sirius’ breath is as unsteady as his and he takes some confidence from the similar reaction to continue. “You? What did you smell?”

Sirius grabs Remus’ hand at his chest and moves it to cup his face, pushing forward again and pecking Remus on the lips. “ _You_ , you dolt. It was always _you_.”

Remus’ heart jumps out of rhythm, the next few beats messing up entirely. His chest twists in pain and his breathing catches as he feels a tingle of magic change in the room. As if time only just started back again, Remus pulls Sirius as close as physically possible and kisses him hard. Their teeth clack together when Remus captures Sirius’ laughter with his mouth.

Sirius bites Remus’ bottom lip and sucks. He darts his tongue in and swirls it against the sensitive roof of Remus’ mouth. Remus chokes back a sob. Sirius is in control. He fumbles at Remus’ trousers and pulls away to yank them off along with Remus’ pants. 

Remus takes the moment to remove his shirt and jumper in one swoop, fumbling his shoes off at the heel and stepping out of his trousers. Sirius backs up far enough to rid himself of his own clothing, and then crashes back into Remus, bruising his ass against the sink when their freed cocks grind together. 

Sirius latches onto Remus’ neck, biting hard. He sucks and licks at the abused skin before moving over and starting the process again. Remus’ heart hammers against his chest. They’ve done this together so many times before, but this feels different. Sirius’ right hand grips and pulls Remus’ left asscheek up and away while the fingers of his left hand slide down the cleft of Remus’ ass. 

A pathetic, pleading sound issues from somewhere within Remus and he feels Sirius grin against his shoulder, torturing the skin at his neck. Remus fumbles with the wand perched precariously on the sink. He mutters a spell and feels the fingers circling his asshole slide against him with slick. 

Sirius mumbles something against his chest, grinding his erection against Remus’, and thrusts one and then two fingers past Remus’ ring of muscle and nerves. Remus moans at the burn and stretch, willing himself to relax. 

Sirius prods his fingers in deeper, hooking and scissoring within the tight heat of Remus’ ass. Remus contracts and loosens his sphincter in a pattern that attempts to pull Sirius’ fingers in deeper and swallow them whole. Groaning into his collarbone, Sirius nips harshly and pulls a yelp from Remus.

“I want you so bad. It’s been torture to have you nearby and not even be able to touch you.” Sirius whispers between kisses pressed into his skin, trailing back up Remus’ neck and jawline.

“Yes,” Remus breaths out, finds Sirius’ mouth, and presses a hard kiss against the corner of his lips. “Come on.”

Remus hikes one of his legs up, and his foot finds the toilet behind Sirius and perches it there. He angles his hips to give Sirius better access. Sirius leans back, removing his fingers from Remus’ asshole, and grabs his prick, wanking it a few times before lining up and plunging into Remus. He does not stop until fully engulfed and Remus feels his ass clench and relax, trying to swallow Sirius’ cock and lock it inside.

Sirius groans. He pulls back just a bit. “Missed this,” he says. 

Remus notices the delicious drag as his body tightens in an attempt to not let Sirius escape, and Sirius slams back in. Remus is sure to have a smattering of massive bruises later from being slammed against the porcelain sink. But he’d gladly take every one.

Sirius pulls back, this time almost withdrawing his cock full out but stopping as Remus' rim clenches around the head of his prick. He thrusts back in, using his full body weight to drive his actions. Remus moans at the roughness and he feels Sirius' foreskin retreat as slides back and Sirius' cock rubs against his insides.

A sound fills the room—the jangle of a loose door handle? Sirius pulls all the way out and rams back in, stumbling slightly. The sensation lights up a star-filled-haze behind Remus’ eyes and he barely notices as the bathroom door opens and Peter squawks red-faced before slamming the door back closed. 

Maybe it’s getting caught in the act, or maybe it’s the same sensation that seems to have Remus in some sort of weird lust-drunken trance, but Sirius starts moving faster. His balls make a slapping sound as Sirius’ thrusts grow shorter, quicker, and more erratic. Remus’ mind starts clearing enough that he begins relaxing and squeezing the muscles in his ass in no distinct pattern. Letting out a series of choked sounds, Sirius stutters deep inside until he’s buried.

Remus hears himself gasp and Sirius slows his thrusting and buries himself twice more with sputtering moans as he finishes milking his cock within Remus. When he pulls out, they both moan in loss of the sensation. Remus’ ass clenches on the chill air, open, wanting, and wet. His erection is weeping precome and twitches in it’s abandonment, simultaneously begging to be touched and threatening to explode at contact.

Sirius’ hands grip Remus’ thighs and they both breath heavily, grinning at each other. A confident intimacy between them reemerges as easily as if never left. Sirius flicks his gaze down to Remus’ erection and licks his lips hungrily. Remus closes his eyes but it does little to calm him as his heart summersaults, knowing Sirius wants only him.

When Remus’ cock stops pulsing quite so red and angry, Sirius’s grip on one thigh tightens before smacking him lightly. “Your turn, big guy.” 

Remus grins and eases off the sink. He snatches Sirius in a hug, wrapping his arms around him and claims his lips for a heated kiss, pulling away reluctantly. Remus turns Sirius around, placing Sirius’ hands against the wall and knocking Sirius’ feet apart. Remus squats down and spreads Sirius’ cheeks with his thumbs, ghosting a breath over Sirius’ flesh.

A weird, low, purr-growl sound fills their space, and Sirius’ head thumps against the wall. His asshole twitches. Remus flattens his tongue and licks a wide stripe up the crack of Sirius’s ass. 

“Fuck,” Sirius whispers.

Remus grins and flicks his tongue lightly across the nerve bundle, and circles around it. He sits back on his heels for a moment and watches as Sirius’ asshole clenches and relaxes. Sirius spreads his legs farther apart, his thighs trembling. Remus’ grip adjusts, a thumb stalking across the puckered area. It flutters and Remus licks the area again with the flat of his tongue before pointing it and prodding the center to loosen. 

Sirius’ hole eases and Remus’ tongue breaches, shoving forward, tapered and wet. He begins fucking Sirius’ ass with his tongue, flicking the tip and flaring his tongue wide in intervals. He slurps the excessive saliva away and presses his thumb against the rim of nerves, opening him wider until he can hook it inside.

Remus’ tongue retreats. He kisses and lightly—ever so lightly—nips at the sensitive skin of Sirius’ asshole. Sirius gasps in what sounds like a mixture of pleasure and pain. Remus coaxes his other thumb in, pulling open Sirius’ ass and thrusting his tongue in as deep as it will go. _Merlin_ , Remus hopes this isn’t some messed up fever dream. If he wakes up to a distant Sirius and unresolved issues between them, Remus might degrade into some form of unrepairable dysfunction. He might never recover.

Remus stands and leaves his thumbs in place, keeping Sirius’ open. He lines his erection up with Sirius’ ass and pushes forward, only letting his fingers withdraw when the head of his cock slides past Sirius’ rim. He isn’t nearly as close as he was, but Remus wants this to last forever.

His hands grip at Sirius’ hips, pulling and pushing him away to meet his slow, drawn out thrusts. Remus groans at the tight heat, and Sirius chokes out a moan. Curious, Remus’ right hand slides to Sirius’ front, finds, and strokes at a newly hardened erection. Remus grins to himself and leans over, careful to keep his balance as he continues the agonizing pace of fucking into Sirius. The awareness of what they have not as arbitrary as it once was settles the anxiety and jealousy within Remus’ core.

He swipes his tongue at the back of Sirius’ neck and whispers against his ear, “Hard again, already?”

Sirius keens.

“I want to fuck you slowly for an entire week. Never leave a bed.” _Never let anyone take you away from me_. Remus growls and thrusts forcefully once, unable to hold back the spike of lust the thought brings to his mind. It’s a thought he’d never voice—something dark and possessive, and evil if left unchecked.

Sirius cries, and tapers off into muted pleas, ”Yes! Yes, yes, yes.”

Remus let’s go of Sirius’ cock and braces against the wall in front, capturing one of Sirius’ hands. He bites at the knot in his spine where his shoulders and neck meet. Sirius mewls and his head hangs between his shoulders. 

Remus wants to kiss him and changes his course of action.

“Hold tight, Sirius,” he warns, and grabs at both of Sirius’ thighs, spreading them wider and lifting them up in the air. Sirius yelps and scrambles against the wall, their balance thrown, and he sinks deeper on Remus’ cock. Remus holds him there for a moment, a bit too close.

He pushes both of them against the wall and Sirius gets enough purchase to brace himself back against Remus. His head falls over Remus’ shoulder. They look at each other. Sirius is glassy eyed and even in the dark, Remus can see the flush in his cheeks. 

Remus’ cock twitches and all of a sudden his need is urgent. “Come here,” he says, and Sirius obeys.

Their lips lock, teeth clacking. They nip at each other in an open and messy kiss as Remus pulls Sirius up and drops him back on his cock, letting gravity help. Sirius’ cries are loud, and Remus grunts and groans as the increased pace, angle, and depth create an unyieldingly tight heat around his prick. 

Ass clenching like a vice grip, Sirius’ head lolls back and his whole body jerks. He ejaculates shouting garbled words, painting the wooden paneled walls. Remus keeps up the pace, but the grip on his cock doesn’t subside and he fucks into the tense unclenching heat only a few times before tumbling over his own edge and emptying into Sirius in spurts.

When Remus’ breath returns, and the hitching slows, Sirius’ whimpers before saying, “Put me down.” His voice cracks a bit, dry and in need of water. “My thighs are cramped and burning.”

“Oh,” Remus replies apologetically, now understanding why Sirius’ wasn’t twitching and never seemed to relax. Sirius wraps his arms back around Remus’ neck to steady himself. A sob escapes Remus’ throat as he lifts Sirius off his wilting, overly sensitive prick and slowly sets his legs down on the ground. He holds Sirius’ hips as Sirius’ legs buckle.

“Oof.” Sirius lets go and turns around gingerly. He rewraps his arms around Remus’ neck—Remus hugging Sirius’ middle—and pulls Remus down for a kiss. Remus is invigorated, all the what-if’s and wrongs of the world melting away in the small, dark, falling-apart bathroom. 

He is whole and his chest continues to fill with love. A bubble of searing hot emotions flood Remus’ chest until he can’t seem to stop the words from falling out. “I love you. I’m _in_ love with you. For a long time now.”

Sirius kisses him and burrows his face into Remus’ naked chest, against the dusting of hair and scars. “I love you too, Moony.” He pulls back from the embrace and both his hands cup Remus’ face. “You’ve no need to be jealous. I only have eyes for you.”

Sirius kisses him again, lingering and soft, before pulling back and patting his cheek. “Come on, now. Let’s get dressed and see how badly we scarred Wormtail.”

“What?” Remus asks. The vague image of the door opening and slamming shut again plays through his mind. “Oh! Yeah.” Remus grins. 

“Serves him right,” Sirius’ tone is light and affectionate.

They dress, and before Sirius opens the door, he takes Remus’ hand in his, lacing their fingers. Remus’ smile grows. When the door swings wide, the two realise how much time has passed. Night has fallen over the entire shack. The only substantial light coming from the faint glow of Remus’ wand and somewhere by the couch.

Sirius leads Remus toward the ripped sofa. James has his head propped in his hand against the armrest of the couch and Peter’s shorter body is spread across the rest of it. Peter’s head is cradled by the other armrest and his feet are pressing into James’ side. The image is actually a bit sweet, and while Remus wants to be mad at the two, he also doesn’t want to wake them. Instead, he looks at Sirius and nods toward a pile of blankets they keep in the house for camping outside Hogwarts on the nights of a full moon.

They each grab one, laying them across Peter and James’ laps. Sirius grabs James’ wand and whispers a _nox_ before stepping back into Remus’ side to look at the final picture. 

Sirius pokes Remus, “You know we are going to have to find a way to get them back for this, right? It might have ended up fine in the end,” Sirius’ arm snakes around Remus’ waist, “but it was also dumb. Can’t have them thinking they can just do whatever they want and get away with it.”

“Yeah,” Remus replies, putting his arm around Sirius’ shoulder and pulling him closer. He kisses the top of Sirius’ head. “But for now, let them sleep.”

Remus yawns, his eyes watering and a sluggishness taking hold of his body. “That’s actually not a bad idea. Sleep.”

“Yeah,” Sirius says and pulls him along, grabbing two blankets and taking the stairs up to a bedroom with a tattered mattress sprawled on the dusty floor. Sirius lays one quilt down on the mattress and pushes at Remus’ shoulders. Remus complies, settling in. Sirius tucks into Remus and flings the other blanket around them both. “Night, Moony.”

Remus pulls him closer and mutters a reply before the sweet darkness of sound and restful sleep swallows him whole.

####  _Fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you, Tipsy-kitty, for listening to me spit ball ideas and letting me know which ones you liked and for waiting on me to finish editing until the very last second. You did phenomenal work on the podfic, and I loved your inflections in all the bickering. Working with you was amazing.
> 
> And thank you, again, icarusinflight. Without you, this fic would be rough. I learned more about writing from this fic and with your help.
> 
> And thank you, readers, for getting this far. I hope you enjoyed both, tipsy-kitty, and my contributions to making your day a better one.


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